Your heart tells you it is time to quit
But you are finding it difficult to do so
You still love her
You have always done.
But you know your relationship has no future
You can’t curtail her excesses.
It is not as if you don’t know what to do
But you are waiting for the right time to leave the relationship.
The truth is, I feel you.
I have been there before.
I shared with you briefly in the last article titled “10 Surprising Ways to Know When someone is not right for you”.
I knew I had to break the relationship
It wasn’t easy.
But I did and I have never regretted my decision.
The thing is:
Few people go into relationships to end it abruptly. Everyone looks for a long-lasting relationship. But the truth is, as you get to know each other more, you will see the good, the bad and the ugly sides of one another. It is at such time you will need to decide on whether to stay or leave if you are finding it difficult to cope.
Every relationship has its ups and down. It is advisable to work it out first to see whether things would change before you think of the option to leave the relationship. When you decide to quit, you also need to know when to live.
People find it difficult to break away from a relationship because they are either waiting for the right time to leave or waiting for their partner to change.
I will illustrate these two scenarios with one story each.
Read and pay attention carefully.
Waiting for the right time to leave a relationship is like a frog that was immersed in a pot of cold water and placed on a fire. The fire was ignited and the temperate of the water rose.
The frog adjusted its body temperature to the environment as the heat rises. Then, the temperature became unbearable when it was getting to the boiling point and the frog decided to jump out.
But alas, it was too late. It tried to jump but there was no more strength. It had used all of its strength in adjusting to the rising water temperature. Not too long the frog died.
I want to ask you a question.
What really killed the frog?
Is it the heat from the water or the inability of the frog to decide to jump out at the right time?
It is the later. The frog refused to jump out when the opportunity was there.
The same thing happens when you refused to come out of a relationship that is not meant to be.
Staying too long might affect you psychologically and emotionally.
The second story is on waiting for a change.
You become optimistic that your partner will change or you outrightly decide to change them.
Imagine the scenario below:
Imagine you are on your way to your office, which is about 20 minutes’ drive from your house.
You wait at the bus stop close to your house for a bus
You waited for 5 minutes, but there was no bus
15 minutes … no bus
A thought crossed your mind – Had I walked instead of waiting I would have been in the office by now.
But, each time you want to walk, a thought strikes your mind ‘What if’ the bus arrives the minute I leave?”
So you continue to wait hoping the bus would come soon.
The things is, you cannot predict when the bus will arrive. What if it doesn’t arrive after all.
Many people are in bad relationships because they are thinking of the “what ifs”. This includes:
- What if I get no one to marry me
- What if he changes
- What if he stops cheating, etc?
Forget about the “what ifs”, they are situations you don’t have control over. Deal with the situation you can control instead.
So, in this article, we will look at the right time to leave a relationship.
Let’s get started
1. When you notice warning signs
If you would be honest with yourself, you would know there have been warning signs staring you in the face. It is only that you have ignored them and move on with the relationship. Some warning signs you can look out for are:
- You can’t wait for them to drop the phone. You are bored of them already.
- You no longer look forward to spending time with your partner
- You fight often
- Long night calls turn to a few minutes in a day
- You choose to spend time with your friends, phone or job
- You are feeling lonely in the relationship
- The relationship is one-sided.
2. When there is any form of Abuse in the relationship
This is very important. I have seen where a guy beats up his partner while they still dated. That is enough reason to leave the relationship already. If you are waiting for an abusive partner to change, you can as well plan your burial program.
If a guy or a lady is abusing you physically, sexually, mentally, emotionally, etc. It is time to leave already.
3. When you have lost the passion or desire to be with each other
Do you remember when you first fall in love with her? You couldn’t do without seeing her in a day. You call her several times during the day to find out how she is doing. You visit after work hours just to have a glimpse of your love.
But suddenly, you got tired of her and you find it difficult to reignite the passion. You hardly call as you used to. You don’t have the desire to always be with them. either
Friend, it is time to let her go.
4. When your partner is a cheater
If you are in a relationship with a serial cheater, and you have tried to make it work, but it keeps happening, it is better to leave the relationship than hope they will change.
It is a difficult decision to make, but it not impossible. If your partner is cheating now while you are dating, it will not stop after marriage.
When you are continuously unhappy and unfulfilled
Ordinarily, you should be happy in your relationship. This is because it is based on a love that gives and takes. Even if you fight, it should be easy to reconcile and move on. If you are constantly unhappy and unfulfilled, it is better to quit.
6. When you are incompatible and neither of you is willing to make to work it out
If you discover that both of you are not compatible and neither you nor he is ready to resolve the incompatibility or work it out together, then the relationship will not work. You must be ready to compromise and sacrifice to make your relationship work. It takes two to make a relationship work. It may be time to leave the relationship.
7. When your reasons to live outweighs your reasons to stay
Like I said above, many people stay in bad relationships because they are thinking of “what if’s”. When you have exhausted your “what ifs” and it does not outweigh your reasons to leave, you will take the necessary step to leave the relationship.
Relationships are fun. But it is not a do or die affair.
If you allow people to exploit you physically, emotionally, financially and otherwise, they will continue to do so. It is time to say ‘No’ and leave such relationships.
Now, it is your turn.
Have you taken such decisions before or are you thinking of taking it now? Share with us in the comment section below.