Your desire is to be successfully married to a responsible spouse.
But you know it is nearly impossible with your current relationship unless something changes.
Sure you love your partner, but it’s not like they are raving about you or tripping over you.
You are concerned that you are not getting as much attention from them as you want.
Unless you recognize the relationship you are in and act accordingly, your desire to be happily married will be a mirage.
The thing is: Most people are in a toxic relationship and they don’t even know it. They keep hoping that their partners will change or that things will change for the best. But I tell you, that kind of people hardly change, except they give their lives to Christ.
So, what are the warning signs of a toxic relationship?
Below are 7 glaring scenarios that will make it easy for you to identify a toxic relationship.
Let’s get started.
1. When the thought of a future with them makes you more anxious than excited.
Naturally, when you are in a relationship with someone and you know it could lead to marriage, you should be excited. The thought of living together with someone you love forever should make you happy.
However, there is a problem when you are in a relationship and you feel anxious about the future. You don’t know if the marriage will last. You don’t know whether you can live with him or her peacefully. You are worried about the future with them.
Don’t get me wrong, there is a level of anxiety you have when you are about getting married, but it is not the type that will overshadow your joy. If you feel more anxious than you are excited at the thought of being together with them in the future, you need to check it. You may be in a toxic relationship.
2. When you crave being away from them increasingly
One signal that shows you love someone is the fact you will always want to be with them. You want to spend your time with them and enjoy their presence. You want to hear them tell you more about their work or vocation.
However, when it gets to the point where instead of craving to be with them, you prefer to be somewhere else with your friends. You just want to be alone without them. Their presence no longer excites you. It no longer thrills you the way it used to, you are probably in an unhealthy or toxic relationship.
3. When you feel you’re walking on eggshells with them
Have you ever being in a relationship where you watch your words? You can’t say what you feel or tell your partner your decision regarding an important issue in your relationship.
You are afraid of their response. They can slap you or just shut you down. Your opinion about the relationship is no longer valid. You are just careful to make suggestions because the outcome might be detrimental. Friend, you are in a toxic relationship.
4. When you feel you wouldn’t be anything without them in your life
This happens when your partner has taken over your life completely. They make decisions for you. They tell what to eat and what not to eat. They tell you where to go and where not to go. They tell what kind of cloth to wear.
Hmmm! You are in a toxic relationship. I heard of a lady who was so concerned about her diet she wanted to impose it on her partner. She will always tell him “don’t eat that because it is bad. Stop eating this because it is not healthy”.
She threw away most of the food the guy loves to eat with the aim they are not “healthy”. Of course, the relationship did not last long. The guy got tired and called it quits. The thing is, don’t control your partner, it is toxic. Allow them to be themselves and do what they like. If you are in this kind of relationship, it is a toxic one.
5. When it is difficult to reach a middle ground or compromise without resentment.
For relationships to thrive, the two parties involved must be ready to compromise for the sake of the relationship. You can’t stand your ground on all the issues in your relationship and refuse to compromise.
If your partner does not want to reach a compromise on any issue, they want you to do what they want all the time. You are in a toxic relationship. Relationships involve two individuals and the two must be ready to make it work at all time.
6. When they compare you to other people
This is common in relationships, especially if your partner has been in a relationship before they met you. If all they do is to compare you with their ex, you need to watch it. It is a toxic relationship.
When they don’t commend your effort on any issue. They say “oh, if it is Jane, she would have called me early in the morning, but you don’t call until late at night”. If it is Jude, he would have bought several things for me, but you are just stingy”. The thing is, all relationships are not equal. When you find yourself in such a relationship, it is not healthy for you.
7. When they expect you to change entirely to fit their criteria.
Relationships are not meant for changing one another. Two different people come together from different families. You can’t expect your partner to always behave like you. You have a different upbringing and values. When your partner wants you to change your life so you will be like them, you will have problems.
Every individual has unique traits, no two persons are alike, even twins that come from the same womb. So, when you are trying to change yourself to fit your partner’s specification, you are surely in a toxic relationship. Although there are good traits you can pick up from your partner, it should not be forced, do it willingly.
What to do about a toxic relationship? End it or Persevere?
The danger of staying and persevering in a toxic relationship is that it can affect you physically and emotionally. I read a piece of content from a lady who related all she went through with her partner. She said he made her feel like she is nothing. She can’t be anything in life. He degraded her so much, so she lost her confidence. She found the courage to leave the relationship and now she is trying to rebuild her life. It can be that serious.
So, what do you? End a toxic relationship if you know it will affect your future, your dreams, and aspirations in life.