A relationship is much like any other vocation in life. To be whatever you want to be in life, you need to get trained or be prepared for it.
For example, it takes about seven years to be a medical doctor. You can’t just wake up one day and declare yourself to be a doctor. That i
You must be ready for it before you ask that girl out on a date. You must be ready before you agree to go out on a date with that guy.
To help you know if you are ready to start a relationship, I have compiled seven points that can guide you below.
Let’s get started.
1. You Love Yourself
“You don’t find your worth in a man. You find your worth within yourself and then find a man who’s worthy of you. Remember that.” Anonymous.
The first thing that will show you whether you are ready for a relationship is self-love. i.e. Loving yourself.
But wait?
What does it mean to love yourself?
Loving yourself means you care for yourself in a way that no one else does. It means you prioritize your dreams and say no to things that do not fit into them. It means creating a future you visualize.
It is very important for you to love yourself first before you go into any relationship. It will help you define the boundaries. Otherwise, you discover that you will dance to every idea your partner suggests.
For example, I know a lady who was dark-skin originally. She got involved with a boyfriend who loves light skinned ladies. When she found out, she bleached her skin so he will not leave her. She is light-skinned now.
Do you know the problem now?
They dated for a long time and finally got married. It was not up to a year before they split up. She was trying to live up to the expectations of the man. She wanted to be everything the man needs in a woman. It is not possible. You’ve got to be comfortable in your own skin.
If you love yourself, no man can persuade you or change you to who you are not.
So, how do you love yourself?
How to love yourself
The following are diverse ways you can love yourself.
- Own your thoughts and opinions and allow no one to change them for you.
- Follow your heart and be truthful
- Allow no one to bring you down
- Believe in yourself and know you can achieve anything you set your heart on
- Step out of your comfort zones to try new things you’ve always wanted.
Therefore, love yourself first before loving others.
2. Know your self-worth
The second thing you need to know before you go into any relationship is your self-worth. Imagine you walk into a supermarket and you noticed a beautiful item without a price tag. Instead of the price, you are asked to pay whatever you want. You will either underpay or overpay. But what happens when you see the price tag on it? You immediately know it’s worth. For most items, their price determines their worth.
What price are you placing on yourself? Do you realize your self-worth?
Knowing yourself worth will help you present yourself in such a way that other people will love and respect you.
Look at the quote below:
“If you find yourself constantly trying to prove your words to someone, you have already forgotten your value“.
A valuable item need not prove to anyone that it is valuable. It is simply valuable in its own class.
Look at another quote:
“When you learn how much you’re worth, you’ll stop giving people discounts.”
Wow! That is amazing. Knowing how much you are worth will help you get treated the right way.
The truth is, your self-worth is the currency that other people will use to transact with. You deserve much more because you are worth it. You cannot afford to settle for less and accept whatever is been dished out to you. Don’t allow anyone to treat you less than you are worth.
Therefore, make sure you build your self-worth to the point where you are confident of yourself.
Self-respect, self-worth, and self-love all start with self. Stop looking for your value.
3. You are financially independent
Before you think of going into a relationship, ensure you are financially stable. Know how to manage your finances well.
Don’t be a pest on someone or make someone’ else your ATM card. It will not work.
The thing is:
A relationship is not cheap. You will need to spend money to keep it running. You may need to go on dates from time to time.
As a lady don’t depend on your man for everything you need in life. Having your own money makes it easy to meet your need without waiting for a man to do so for you.
Be ready to take on responsibility as a man in a relationship. Don’t shy away from paying bills while on a date. If you cannot spend on your date while you are single, it will be hard to do it when you get married.
4. You are free from your Ex
Carrying over the hurts of the previous relationship will not help you. Most people desire to go into another a relationship after they break up with their ex to fill the void. But instead of helping, it will further plunge you into more problems.
The issue is, you cannot mix the old with the new. Start afresh with a clean slate.
The first thing to do after a breakup is to make sure your heart heal first. It will prevent you from making the same mistake repeatedly. Take stock of what happened in the relationship and review your inputs. Know what you did wrong and act right.
Ensure you are free from every negative emotion before you move on to the next relationship. If you are still battling with emotions from your past relationship, it is advisable to stay put, until you can work on it and be free.
5. You are looking for a wife/husband rather than a friend
Most singles make the mistakes of searching for a wife or a husband rather than looking for a friend.
If you are looking for a suitable partner, first make friends with them, with no thought of marriage whatsoever. That way you will get to know each other well.
If you jump the process and propose to every girl you meet, you will miss out on real love. You are ready to go into a relationship when you are ready to make friends.
Make friends with people, you never know what will come out of it. It is a great process for discovering your wife or husband to be.
6. You are patience
Patience is a very important virtue you need to imbibe in the search of a relationship. Unfortunately, not everyone has it. You must be patient when searching for who to love or marry and when in a relationship.
Don’t be impatient about your choice. Don’t choose wrongly because you think you may not find someone else.
You know what?
That is a lie.
I have heard matured singles say it from time to time. This has made some of them get entangled in wrong relationships. Yet, they don’t want to leave. They prefer to rather stay in it than look for new relationships.
The truth is, it is better to be single than to be with the wrong person. Patient is the key to a sweet relationship. If you are not patient enough, learn to calm down. It will happen for you at the right time.
7. You have found your purpose and passion in life
This is a very important issue.
Before you jump into a relationship, you must have defined your life purpose and passion. You must have been what you want to be in life or you are almost completing the process to be what you want to be in life.
This means you know what your life will look like in the next 5, 10, 15 and 20 years from you. You can visualize your life where you are right now. You need no one to tell you what course you should study or what path to take in life.
Conclusion
Above are some of the things that will show you are ready to for a new relationship. Are you ready for a relationship? How do you know? Share with me in the comment section below.